Day 149

It's happening very quickly now.
Doctors have rushed the stem cell boost to next week! Ian and Beth arrive this weekend, pre-op Monday and Thursday is the big time. It's quite overwhelming.
I got back from Pittsburgh and I knew John did not look as well as when I left. We arrived at clinic on Tuesday and he had a fever of 103; they admitted him. He has some sort of bacteria in his blood, that's all I know right now.
So this is it! Our final shot? I don't know but it sure feels like it sometimes. To say this year has been overwhelming is an understatement. I won't lie it has been a fight every day to resist anger, self pity and hopelessness; some days I win, some days I loose- other days I do both. It's like walking through Jello.
Thank you to all those who have been so encouraging to us, I owe my avoidance of a mental breakdown thus far to you! :)
Seriously though your words and love have been amazing. So many of you tell me (Amanda) how strong I am but I want to confess that I am not strong, I am weak, so weak and it is only through God's strength that I even get up in the morning. Most mornings I don't even ask God to help me and yet He does; if that's not true love I don't know what is.
He meets me, though I do not always meet Him.
I will keep you all posted on next weeks events. I have said it many times and it is yet to come true but we hope next week is the beginning of John's climb to ultimate health and healing.

I told John "The Best is yet to come"....

Thanks so much to those who have bought of our wish list, how overwhelmingly wonderful and kind of you all.