A Dream Becomes Reality

When emotions overwhelm me I have to write. It's the way God wired me. It's the way I process; ponder and pray. Tomorrow is a anticipated day. During the last 4 years of medical craziness a thought began to creep into my mind; normally on the days that seemed without hope; that wouldn't it be nice to get away. I would close my eyes and imagine John and I, health restored just taking a vacation. A marking of a new season, a moment to symbolize the old passing and the new coming in. Just like the changing of the seasons. I began to pray, selfishly I confess, that God would make a way, after all the medical stuff was done, to give us a break. I remember so many days of trial and pain being lightened by talking about that possible future getaway. I remember whispering to John when he was in pain "One day you'll be healthy and we can getaway somewhere warm and celebrate". It bought solace to our darkest hour. How odd that such a small hope could bring light to a dark place. A few months ago, as we were praying John could have his hips replaced a good friend called and said he was sending us a letter and it would arrive tomorrow. The next day I met the mailman at the door and got our letter. As we opened it we saw a check for a quite large sum of money. In the letter they told us they felt God wanted us to have it and mentioned "you guys should take a second honeymoon, you need a vacation". I just began to weep and weep and weep. God, who had already given us so much, gave us even more. We decided on Mexico, Playa Del Carmen to be exact and we leave tomorrow. Tonight the tears have just flowed. I just keep looking at John and saying "It's here, you're healthy, we made it". How good and extravagantly loving is our God. Even today, a day that for my family was devastating for reasons that are not for me share, I am reminded once again that although I do not understand His ways, I know they are good and I know they are loving. And yes He cares about the small things too. Our physical bodies are healed and I know in this next week God will finish the healing of our hearts. Once again, to everyone reading this, we thank you, we love you.

Reflections on the big 30

I don't think I have had a birthday I have anticipated so much as this one. 30. Even to see that number a wave of disbelief comes over me and I think "me? 30, but I am just a kid". 

Age has never really bothered me, each year would pass and I would reflect but never for more than a moment. This year is different. When I think back on my twenties and who I was when I entered that decade I barely recognize myself. That decade held my highest joys , my deepest griefs and my biggest victories. I gave my life to Jesus at 22; an action that would determine the direction of every step since. At 24 I moved to Boston; permanently (although unbeknownst to me at the time). At 26 I married John; what a wonderful gift to move away and find a best friend for life. At 26 I buried my father; the most heart wrenching season of my life. At 27 I walked through Johns bone marrow transplant and the years after of health trails and the sweetest victories. At 28 my John was healed and rocking an amazing new immune system. At 29 I watched my husband struggle to walk; and after 14 months I watched him gain strength over strength and walk hand in hand again. And at 30 I reflect. On years that both ache and bring unspeakable joy. I look forward the dreams we have put on hold coming true, to days and weeks without hospital appointments, to travels and times of wonderful fellowship with friends and families.

No reserves, no retreats, no regrets.

Here's to the next 30 years...

Home

It's been 15 days since johns surgery and he is finally home. The days have been long and exhausting, more so for him than me, but I know I will sleep better now he is home. In fact as soon as I sat down on my couch the relief was so immense I could have slept right there! :) probably should eat first :) I am amazed by how well he is doing and how well he is getting around :) thank you for all your prayers and support :) 

Therapy dog!

Today we had a private visit from Kallie! She is a puggle (half beagle, half pug) :) apparently this is johns second visit of the day with her as he snuck a visit this morning where she fell asleep on him :) this time she had much more energy. After a tough day of therapy it was just what john needed :) 

Rehab day 5

It's another gloomy rainy day in Boston but inside the Spaulding rehab "iron man", as our friend Aimee calls him, is making strides! He has 3 hours of collective therapy every day; normally split into a morning and an afternoon session. I (Amanda) spent my afternoons here so I get to attend that session. Today he walked really far and even did a short obstacle course with his walker. He lifted his legs, stood up and sat down many ones and did some arm weights. John was a little preoccupied today though. He found out yesterday that this hospital has therapy dogs. He is now a man on a new mission, find the dogs :) hoping we can find them soon :)

Rehab Day 4

This is the real first day. It started off a little shaky, John was dizzy upon rising and passed out a few times. This was probably a little dehydration and he is feeling less dizzy now. This afternoon he went to the therapy gym and began learning to stand and move his legs. It was obviously very painful but he did everything he was asked without complaining or whining. He is so strong. He has already come so far :) I bought some photos do in today so now the faces of the people he loves spur him on when he feels low. I know he needs encouragement so much these days so if you want to sent a him a note you can send it to me or request our address at amandalouisecaton@gmail.com

Sunday reflections

"You cannot quantify human suffering" the nurse said to John as he told her our story. This is reflective place. It's eerie to know so many others recovering here were injured by the Boston marathon bombings. I see them around and my heart aches. They began their lives the morning of April 15th not knowing their lives would be permanently changed. As John and I sat by the water yesterday another couple sat not far from us, both weeping; this is place full of stories, full of suffering. As John told his nurse our story she spoke with such wisdom. She said "John, there will always be people you can look at who have suffered less than you and you can feel like a victim or even superior over them; there will always be those who suffer more than you and you can use that to somehow feel better or justify not complaining but really you cannot quantify human suffering, you can't compare yourself to other people so make the best of what you have"

Even as we sit here beginning the painful weeks and months of rehabilitation we are thankful. We know we are blessed not cursed. As we were walking around the hospital there was a Gandhi quote engraved on the wall which reminded me so much of John, below is a photo but just in case the quote is not clear it says: 

"Strength does not come from physical capacity but from an indominable will"