Felicity's birth story

This was a long awaited day. That day in June 2014 when those two lines appeared on the pregnancy test seemed an age ago as I awoke the morning of February 12^th2015. 5:15am,I felt a strange sensation; my first thought was “Am I getting my period?” then it dawned on me, that wasn’t a period. I stood quickly and ran to the bathroom; I made it just as a gush of fluid ran out of me. Shocked I shouted to John “My water broke”. We both looked at each other and laughed, out of excitement but also nervousness. It was happening. In true Caton form we hadn’t got around to putting the car seat in the car yet so John got straight on that. He walked back in the house around 6am and we decided to go back to bed. No contractions yet and we were due to see the midwife at 9am anyway. 

After a few short hours I was checked by the midwife who couldn’t confirm if my water had broken and I was sent to the main hospital to check. It had broken and a stress test confirmed that contractions had begun; they were mild and around 20 minutes apart. They sent me home and said come back tonight. That day was a sweet day, John and I talked and ate and enjoyed each other’s company. We had decided before the birth that it would be fun to see how far we could get through the Marvel movies before I would need to go to the hospital; we made it to the end of Iron Man 2. That evening, still with mild contractions we returned to the hospital. All was the same, still early labor and I was sent home again. They told me if I didn’t go into active labor overnight then I would be induced in the morning. 

Several months prior to this day I had written a birth plan for how I wanted Felicity to enter this world. I believed with all my heart that a natural drug free labor was best, I didn’t want to be offered pain relief and I didn’t want to be induced. My main reason for wanting a natural drug free birth was so when I saw her face and she saw mine that the moment was pure, untainted; not drugged and out of it. Not long before her birth I asked my friend Bronwyn Shepherd to be our doula. Many friends spoke of how amazing she was during labor and John and I both agreed we needed the support. Amazingly God provided exactly the money we needed to do this.

As we drove home from the hospital we prayed I would not be induced. Upon arriving home we decided to go to bed. Without a wink of sleep the contractions changed, stronger; not as manageable as they had been all day. 2 hours passed and each contraction got more intense until they were 5 minutes apart and we were on our way back to the hospital. We called Bronwyn and she was meeting us there. 

The contractions grew in intensity as we walked through the hospital to labor and delivery, at one point I stopped to lean on a wall in the ER. I was offered a wheelchair which I stubbornly refused and kept walking. As I entered labor and delivery they took one look at me and put in me in a room. They did a stress test and confirmed contractions were coming fast; lying there still for 20 minutes while they did the test was awful, I wanted to move, change position, something to relieve the pain. Once I was unhooked the labor nurse offered me an exercise ball which upon sitting on I kicked away shouting “No!” The pain was worse on there than in the bed. Just as I felt myself losing it Bronwyn arrived. She helped me focus my breathing and I was back in a strong place again. We decided I should get in the tub and labor in there a while, I did and it was the best decision we made. The warm water helped so much and Bronwyn constantly had the shower head over my belly. We diffused ‘Serenity’ DoTerra essential oil (A smell that we love even today!) and played some worship music. I had moments where I would lose focus and panic and this increased the pain but John and Bronwyn always bought me back to a place of strength. Eventually the sounds of worship and the smell of oil faded into the background and I entered, what I now know, as labor trance. The contractions were a minute or two apart and extremely intense. I would grunt and growl and breathe and then fall asleep, I don’t know how many hours this went on for. Around 5am, after active laboring for 7 hours, the midwife wanted to check how dilated I was. I got up out of the tub and made my way to the bed. As she checked me I just screamed for her to not touch me. She asked me if I wanted to know how dilated I was and I said “No please tell Bronwyn but do not tell me”. At the time I didn’t know why I said that but I know in hindsight it was the right thing to do. I wanted to make decisions based on the messages my body sent me, not on any outside information. I didn’t want to get too excited if I was fully dilated and I didn’t want to be discouraged if I wasn’t. I labored over the back of the bed another 2 hours. I lost focus much more in those 2 hours as exhaustion was setting in. 

At 7am I turned to John and said the word “porcupine”. It was our safety word. It was the message that I was done. I knew my body couldn’t go any further. It was a decision that although I do not regret caused me deep disappointment as I thought back. However I had listened to my body all along, in the moments earlier when I wanted to give up it wouldn’t let me. I had to honor my body and give it rest. In my heart I surrendered the birth plan and the hope of a drug free birth. In my heart I knew it was best; best for me, best for Felicity. It was my first lesson in parenting, letting go of how you want it to be and embracing what it is. I had peace in my heart.

It was a further 45 minutes or so before the epidural was administered. After it kicked in I rested for a few hours. As I awoke I spoke with Bronwyn and she asked me if I wanted to know how dilated I was. I said yes. She said 3cm. My heart sank, 3cm. Most women get there in early labor; I had labored hard for almost 10 hours. The midwife checked me and said I was now fully dilated and the baby was in position; just a few hours of rest were all it took. That peace in my heart was right, following my body’s lead was right and now I was ready to push. After an hour I was given Pitocin to make my contractions stronger so I could get a better push. I rested before pushing for another 2 hours. I have no memory of this but Bronwyn tells me I was cracking jokes the whole time. At 1.09pm I pushed and there she was. This beautiful baby girl was placed on my chest and I was in awe. John had the honor of catching her and cutting the cord. She was perfect and alert and that moment of meeting her was untainted and beautiful. I don’t know how long she was on my chest but I never wanted it to end.

Later I gained some clarity on why I didn’t dilate as most do. Her head was ‘sunny side up’ meaning that despite the strong contractions she wasn't putting the pressure on my cervix so I could dilate. She needed me to rest so she could fix her position. She didn’t fully turn which led to many hours of pushing but she was in the right position to come out eventually, she arrived with eyes open and seeing her Daddy. 

I look back on Felicity's birth with great joy. The labor was empowering, and it showed me what my body was and is capable of. It also taught me to listen to my body and trust my instincts. I don’t look back with regret. I look back and I am thankful.