God's Promise

I have spent a lot of time these last weeks wondering how to word this blog entry. The words just wouldn't come. They still won't and yet I know I must put pen to paper, in the electronic sense. John has another surgery this month. And we need prayer. Sometimes I am so fooled into thinking people must think were a broken record but I know that's not true. That there are many out there who care about us and want to pray with us. That we do not and have never walked this alone. Boy am I pleased about that. To give you some history. They discovered a problem with John's iliac artery 8 years ago during a routine scan. 2 aneurysms. Both small, one already clotted off so no problem. Every year since they have scanned and no change until December of last year. As always after John's appointment I spy on his results on his online account, I often know before the doctor; got quite good at reading them too. I guess I am a seasoned carer. I went to read his report from the scan expecting the same old write up, I am sure they copy and paste. But this time I was stopped in my tracks. Frozen by the words. The aneurysm had grown, it had grown a lot, almost double. From the depths of heart I felt the rising "Oh no" that I know so well. I called John in and I just cried. It wasn't just that, with each new challenge the pain of the previous rises up. In many ways I am stronger because of what I have walked through but in many others ways I am weaker. And in that moment I was weak. I still am. A few days later John is sitting with the surgeon planning the date. The surgeon had grace and let us travel to the UK for Christmas. I met the surgeon today at John's pre op appointments. He is a good man, kind and soft spoken. He also has an excellent reputation- that combination makes a great doctor. He told me all about the operation, really quite simple in comparison to what we have been through and recovery seems fairly easy and not too long. He told me the truth, that the aneurysm is basically a ticking time bomb, that if it were to rupture John would die, probably before we could get him to the hospital. That's a sobering statement. The 23rd cannot come soon enough for me. Friends would you once again pray for us. Throughout this new trial I remember God's promise to us that he would heal John completely. It wouldn't be complete unless this was fixed and God always keeps his promises.