Amanda's Story

It feels rather strange to be writing a blog entry about my (Amanda's) health. I first noticed a problem back in June 2012 but told few people because I didn't want a fuss, plus i wanted to concentrate on taking care of John. After all he is the sick one right? Well unfortunately sickness hits us all at some point.
So here is my story and I humbly ask for prayer.

Back in June 2012 I missed a cycle and assumed, as you do as a married woman, that I was pregnant. A little scared but at peace I visited the doctor. The test was negative. So why did I not get my normal cycle? (Sorry if you are guy reading this!). In their tests they proactively also tested some other hormone levels including thyroid and one called Prolactin. Thyroid normal, Prolactin elevated. To put this into perspective, that should not be elevated unless I am in late stage pregnancy or breast feeding of which I am neither.

They waited and no cycle so 3 weeks later they tested me again, prolactin higher.
They booked me for an MRI because they thought I may have a tumor on my pituitary gland (gland shown to right)

It showed quite a sizable "cystic lesion". Back in June I suffered a very bad headache, worse than ever before and one that came on and left very quickly. I have suffered with migraines for years but this was different. It was so bad I was nauseous. Doctors think this could have been a small bleed that caused this cyst. They gave me medication and offered me surgery. At the time I lacked complete health insurance due to my immigration status (it used to be that if you had a green card less than 5 years you were not eligible for health insurance, and my status as a volunteer meant I was not eligible to buy it either; a rule that was recently overturned granting me full insurance).
Anyway I took the medication.

I went back to see my surgeon and endocrinologist before Christmas and the cyst remains, although slightly smaller. Today I called and ask them to book my surgery, the insurance has approved a 1 night hospital stay but the hospital is appealing for 3 days. So tomorrow the neurosurgery team will call and schedule me in.

I apologize for not sharing this sooner; for a long time I just wanted to not think about it but I value your prayers too much to withhold my need from you any longer.

This is a bump in the road for our family and believe once this is over I will be walking in full health again.

Thank you :)

Watch this Space!

It brings me great joy (and a little fear!) to announce that I (Amanda) am beginning the process of writing a book about the stem cell transplant experience. It has been on my heart for a few years now and more recently God has begun to speak to me that now is the time. Why do I want to write it? I want other young couples who walk through chronic illness to know they are not alone and I hope what we have been through can encourage and strengthen others who find themselves on the same journey. On a personal note I believe it will be incredibly cathartic to put into more words what happened. Please pray for me and advise me if you can! O and watch this space... :)

Nutrition

These past 6 months have changed my life, opened my eyes and stirred in my heart a passion And for what?  Nutrition.  It all began during the summer. It was a frustrating time with Johns hip doctor telling us there was no way to reverse the damage done to his hips.  In my mind I thought that can't be right, the body heals itself all the time, why not this way? We were left with the option to just wait. I spoke with my friend Laura Messina ( http://www.cnutrition.info/) I knew  she was a nutritionist and in my mind I figured what's the harm. She began to talk to me about supplements ad vitamins that would help Johns hips and also his growing immune system. At first  was skeptical. John had been having major problems with his throat, he had a stricture that meant he could not swallow well and his throat was very sore. Laura gave us some aloe juice and said take that a few times a day; within 24 hours he felt relief! Suddenly the skeptic in me shut up and I thought "wow what other hidden gems lie in natural healing!".  It has catapulted from that moment on.  I began to ask Laura questions, my mind began to race with information and my heart began to stir a passion to know more. I gleaned wisdom from my wonderful friend Jen Flickinger (http://www.mycuppyrunnethover.blogspot.com) she  is such a wise women, we text everyday what we learn. I began to read, watch and study food, what we should eat, what we shouldn't.  So I sit here today, sipping my raw milk and looking back on how different our lives look from 6 months ago. We are eating better, choosing organic and whole foods instead of food with a list of ingredients a mile long. We are choosing to be informed about our food. We are choosing to actively avoid ingredients with words we don't understand. And the amazing thing is we get better food and we are saving money!  My whole life I thought I ate well, I would read labels and think "well I don't know what that is but it's ok because if it was bad they wouldn't be able to sell it ". What a lie! Truth is our supermarket shelves are lined with tasty poison! Those words may sound dramatic but it's true. Finally this journey is bringing me closer to Jesus. Seeing how he has provided all we need on this earth, food for eating and plants and herbs for healing. This journey has just begun but I am excited about where I will go...You are what you eat. 

And so we keep trusting...

"I will hang on to your promise...there's a rest in the vine, there's a place in abiding in the vine" Sean Feucht, 'There's a rest' 

It's been overwhelming and wonderful how many people pray for John. I am just amazed how many people walk beside us in faith. Our good friend, Ethan is one those faithful ones. He has not only been praying for John but encouraging others, many who do not know John to pray also. He took us aside when we were in Pittsburgh and said "I want you to know I don't pray for John because I want God to use me to heal him; although that would be great! I pray because when I see you something happens in my heart and I know God wants to do something" The compassion in his eyes as he spoke moved me (Amanda) deeply; it wasn't pity, it was compassion; it was him joining with our hearts as we long to see John fully restored. 

I highlight Ethan (Hope you don't mind friend) but so many of you have touched us in similar ways. Thank you.

I can say through these last months John and I have grown so much closer to Jesus than ever before, there are parts of His character we may not have seen had it not been for our struggles. God has been healing our hearts; drawing us nearer to him in trust and intimacy.

While traveling we  took a week to attend our annual north east YWAM conference. Our speaker was a man called Paul Hawkins. His message was so simple and yet so profound. How we need a revelation of God's character in our lives! How we would live our lives differently if we fully trusted His goodness and faithfulness. 
I had such wonderful times in God's presence that week. Just being able to focus entirely on Him every day was so sweet.

At the end of the week John was playing his saxophone in worship when people began to pray for him. So many of our dear friends poured their hearts out to God in prayer for John; many tears being shed. One lady said to John that God was going to "renew his mind", others prophesied that he "would walk, leap and praise the Lord" and a good friend sensed that God said "he was going to do it". And so we hold these words close; knowing they could mean so many things. We simply pray that God would have His will.

We go back to see the doctor before Christmas; pray for wisdom.  For now John remains the same; good and bad days but still being able to move around pretty well. 

We know this is a season and complete restoration is close...However God does it; by a miracle of His touch or using medical science we will give Him the thanks and praise. For He alone is worthy.

 

An Addendum to the previous post

Friends, I feel it important to clarify on some things that may not have been clearly communicated or perhaps were left unsaid. John and I are indeed standing on what we believe to be a word from God, however we are not ignoring medical advice. We are having regular check-ups with his orthopedic doctor and we are following his advice. He said to wait and track John's progress and although he believes a replacement is our only option he does not think we should do it now. We have a friend who is a nutritionist advising us on dietary changes that will help strengthen his bones and we have our sister Beth giving physical therapist advice. In our belief in supernatural healing we are in no way rejecting medical science and the many wonders God has worked through it. John also has pain medication which he takes if needed. Most days he does not need it. In addition those who know John will know he will rarely admit he is in pain; fortunately God has blessed me with eyes to see through that!

In the case of the transplant, we believe God told us that He was going to use it to heal John. Even though many doctors advised against the transplant at first, all have now admitted that it was the best decision for John! He is healed from his immune deficiency.

When John was very sick before our wedding the doctors told us to cancel the wedding, that there was no chance John would be well enough, however we knew God had told us when and where to get married.  Because of His word we did not cancel the wedding and many of you were there to witness the miracle of John not only walking down that aisle but dancing away into the evening!

We believe miracle number 3 is around the corner...

Day 624

Perseverence = steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

These past months, weeks, days I have been pondering a lot on what it means to perservere. What it means to hold onto something and not waver. To believe for something that seems unlikely.

It's been nearly 100 days since God spoke to me about healing John's hips. 100 days.


In God's time I am sure it is just a breath.
For us, it has felt like several deep breathes; a lot of sighing, a few sniffles as tears fall.

I have seen John make many strides of improvements, for a long time I could see healing with my own eyes. The past few weeks he has been getting worse. Today he told me his feet are pigeon toeing and his hips are becoming more restricted in movement than ever before. I couldn't help but cry.
How I wish I could stretch my hands out and command God's healing to come and too see it come in all the ways I want to see it. But alas I cannot force God's hand.

I remember when I first heard God speak that he was going to heal John; it felt like I was on this journey with a million cheering around me, believing that same word I heard! But over the weeks and months it feels as if I may be the only one left at the party. Let me be clear I am not trying to insticate pity here, I am simply trying to share my heart. Many well meaning people speak to me about the wonder of hip replacements (if you are one of them I am not mad at you!) but what we need, what I need, is to be reminded of what God said and maybe what God may speak to you for us.

Would you please pray for us and share with us the words God gives you? We have heard him speak to us but we need a fresh word from Him so as we pray that He would speak us directly would you pray and ask if He has anything He may wish to communicate through you.

I (Amanda) cannot go back now. I have declared to everyone I know that I believe God is going to heal John. Replacements are not an option, crutches are not an option. living this life of no mobility is not an option. As a man in July spoke to John "you are to reject these crutches because you are going to be testimony of God's strength"

Please believe with us...My God has never failed me yet

Romans 5:2-5 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Day 559

The past month has been filled with prayer, we admit some worry, but mainly hope. Hope has always been one of our favorite words. It's a word that invokes so much emotion in my heart. Many people say they have hope but sometimes hope can be viewed as something people have because they simply cannot handle how hard life is, they must have hope almost as a survival mechanism. But that's not the hope I have; my hope is not a feeling or a coping strategy, it's a person, his name is Jesus. And my hope goes even deeper than that, my hope is not simply in the Godman but in His words. There are words in the bible that spur me on and give me purpose and hope but the word i particularly speak of was spoken directly to me. The first night of Joshua Generation I was singing in worship, just enjoying the presence of Jesus when I began to sing a line of a song that said "you make all things new", all of a sudden I felt this peace,this revelation that those words were to be a promise from God that he was going to heal John's hips. It's very hard to explain but I know how to hear God's voice and I knew i had that night. The coming days involved our appointment with our orthopedic doctor; the whole experience was difficult, hearing him say there is nothing that can be done and eventually his hips will collapse and he will need a replacement. All the while as I sat in that office I just kept remembering the words "you make all things knew", as I stared at John's MRI and saw the tops of his femurs and 2 inches down darkened and dead I knew only God could heal this. The doctor said there was no way they would get better that once this bone died it was dead.It all seemed to final, so inevitable but we had HOPE.Before we even walked in that room God had given his promise and the test now, do we trust Him? Everyday we pray the same, "God we believe you have spoken that you will make all things new and we pray in that accord with your promise Lord. We declare as in Ezekial that by The spirit of the Lord these dry bones would come to life and be made new. We trust you. We love you. We believe you have already begun the healing. In Jesus name, Amen" All 120 people at Joshua Generation prayed the same thing. John and I in the coming days were able to be part of Joshua Generation; John taught the kids about science and myself and some other girl staff led the girls teaching. We made the decision a few days before outreach that we would not go, a hard decision with many tears but one we knew was best and right. The last 10 days we have been holding down the Boston base. John has been able to rest. A friend of ours Laura Messina helped us out immensely by providing John with some good quality supplements and vitimins which we know without a shadow of a doubt has aided his recovery! Between her wisdom and my friend Jen's advice we have been learning about a whole new world of natural health and how we can sustain Johns new immune system in a better way.And that leads up to today.The transformation is borderline miraculous. This time 10 days ago John could barely walk, just showering caused so much pain he would have to sleep most of the afternoon. He could not do anything without crutches.The past week he has barely needed his crutches, leaving the house many mornings forgeting them! "don't you need those" I would say, "O yeah I guess I better take them!". He says he feels great! Another evidence of healing is that for the last week I have not heard his hips crack, not once; before they would crack everytime he sat down. His throat has also dramatically improved just by drinking aloe juice twice a day! He noticed an improvement within 24 hours of drinking it. He has an appointment with GI next week in hopes of removing the stricture which remains. That brings us to today, one of the best days we have had in a long time. Our friend Annie let us stay for the weekend and we spent most the day in the pool hanging out, playing games and just laughing together. The water is great for John he says "I feel like I can do anything in the water without restriction".In the words of my father, "never underestimate the power of prayer"