What if I don't feel it?

To be honest sometimes I don't "feel" God.

I have been thinking a lot these past weeks about what it really means to walk with God and how for so long I have known one thing in my mind but never really cemented it in my heart. I hear the phrase, from my own lips often, "I don't feel like it" or "It doesn't feel right" or "I don't feel God". This got me questioning my emotions and if I am led by them to often.


Beside this text is a artistic impression of Job; covered in sores, grieving and confused. I am sure he did not "feel" at peace, I am sure he did not "feel" God every waking moment but he never questioned the sovereignty of God or that God was near him.


To be totally honest it is the days I do not "feel" God that I get whacked out, I start to act desperate and selfish and obsessively internalize my day to try and find out why I do not have this spiritual feeling. My heart longs to be on that high every day yet my head tells me that our walk with the Lord is more than just that; true love is about choosing to love and seek God whether you "feel" Him or not. The best example I can muster for this is marriage. I (Amanda) love John deeply but I don't wake up each morning with the warm fuzzys! In fact sometimes, like every other couple, we can't stand one another! But it does not make me doubt I love him or that he loves me; it's just part of life and love is not all feeling! I wake each day and sleep each night knowing deep in my heart that I love him and he loves me.


Why can this not be the same with God? When we do not feel Him can't we still trust that He is there and He loves us and He is for us? 

Our feelings are a gift but often we make the mistake of letting them be our guide instead of God. God is firm, unwavering and sure; He is the same yesterday, today and forever. His love for us is deep every day. He is a dependable and trustworthy God. This is truth. So no matter how we feel it does not change who God, what He thinks of us, what His plans are for us and ultimately everything! 


So I want to pray today and to ask God to release me from the chains of being led by my feelings and instead help me to be led by my steady and sure God! I want to be more than a 'feeling' Christian! I want to praise my God even when there is not spiritual high in return; I want this walk to be about God and not me. In the words of John the Baptist, "God more of you and less of me"..
Will you pray with me today...




MORE NEWS ON 'ENCOUNTER' TOUR SOON! SHOWS HAPPENING WEEKLY IN SCHOOLS AND CHURCHES IN NEW ENGLAND! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

ENCOUNTER- THE PROMO

Coming to your town in April and May.


Those friends in Indiana, we shall be there the first week and a half of May; we shall keep you posted

What is "Home"?

"I have been dreaming almost every night about being in England, about seeing friends and family and doing those things I used to do. I am comfortable. I am content. 
I awake neither of those things, I awake disconnected, almost mournful"


I have spent much of my time thinking and praying about what "Home" is. For many years I would say Nottingham, England; that's my home. My family is there, my culture is there and many places and people I love are there.

This is the place I truly belong. 

However I am coming up for 2 years now in the USA and I have those things here too. None has replaced what I have in England but are new additions in my heart. And as I walked down the aisle on October 3rd 2009 I felt a great sense of love, I was surrounded by family- The Caton's, YWAM and many other new friends who had rallied around us and I remember distinctly saying to myself "Finally the USA feels like home". 

How I long for both; even for 3. Boston is my home, Indiana is fast becoming my home too and then there is Nottingham and as this battle waged in my mind, guilt filled my mind for ever having thinking to call anywhere else home but England God spoke to me:


"Home is here with me, everywhere else is temporary"

How true and yet how profoundly simple; this world is not and has never been my home! Although my heart yearns for these worldly places, it is really yearning for my real "Home", with my father and my Lord. And wherever I go God is with me and who knows where the Lord will take John and I, who knows how many "Homes" we shall have in this world?

There will always be ties, be loved ones, be treasured memories and I allow myself to miss such things and become excited to see them again but I shall not dwell on earthly places anymore- I will simply travel wherever the Lord takes me and wherever he wills our next "home".  

This song has spoken to me so much about this; I hope it inspires you too:

Wow that crowd was loud!

"As I stared out from the stage last Thursday I froze. That night 150 young people would fill those chairs; 70% of them did not know Jesus. I prayed. I prayed hard"


Last Thursday was a big night. We were at First Assembly of God in Worcester MA; a church we had the privilege of working with since our summer program and whose church had seen massive amounts of people come to the Lord. The most noticeable sign of this is within the Youth. Their Youth group used to 30 kids, all having been to church their whole lives and then we came alongside them and went out into their community, to their town and their housing projects and today their Youth Group is typically no less than 150 people! So many they have to build a new section to the building! As the young people flooded in we joked with each other about how we "ruined their youth group". The youth pastor and staff could not be happier though! They are excited about all God is going to do!
 
And so the show began...although the volume did not diminish. For me, as a performer, it was a hard task- performing for a distracted and loud audience. It was challenging but I knew this night was not about me and that if only one heart was touched this evening it would all be worth it.


At the end we managed to establish some sort of order and for the altar call the place was more peaceful; many bowing their heads and raising their hands for receive the Lord. All in all 10 young people.


"One thing I know is that in my worldly eyes we could see no difference in these young people, they entered as distracted and loud as when they came in but God works in the inner most intimate folds of our heart and although our eyes cannot see I believe God had His way tonight in many lives"

'Encounter' First show of 2010!

This Saturday we had our first performance of 'Encounter' in 2010! We had a new cast and we were excited to see how God would use us.

Here are some shots from the show; above is one of the last scenes of the show. The shadows represent the trinity and the people are sitting and presenting their complaints to God. Just after this Jesus appears from behind the scene and comes into the world.
To the left you can see Satan in black attacking Adam after he has taken the sin (the black fabric strip).This is after the temptation. Amanda is playing Eve.
Below Adam and Eve are left to realize their sin.

The production ends with a worship concert and on Saturday 6 people gave their lives to the Lord for the first time!

God is using this production to bring His Kingdom!

Our first Encounter performance 2010 and OUR BIG DREAM!

'Encounter' is YWAM Boston's first full scale theater production! It tells the story of God from creation to the resurrection through drama, dance, music and multimedia.

Our first US performance will be this Saturday in Brentwood, NH. Last year we took this show to the UK and on the  six week tour the students were able to perform in schools and churches! They saw many give their lives to the Lord.

We have been praying as a staff and it was decided in the Fall that we wanted to take this show on the road in the United States. We have a big dream...we want to take the show to Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Indiana, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama and Mississippi! 

We need a lot to make this dream a reality! We have good links with many churches in these areas. We need more contacts, we need more funds to get the equipment we need and more than anything else we need prayer!

Our hearts are to bring Jesus to as many people as possible. 

This is such an exciting time for YWAM Boston. Personally John and I are passionate about using the arts to bring people to Jesus.

Please pray with us in this exciting and nerve wrecking time! Our plans are big but we know our God is bigger!

Show details:

Grace International Fellowship Church

Brentwood, NH

Time: 7.00

Youth Group Last Night

Our Outreach team led a youth group in South Boston last night. 13 young people gave their lives to Jesus! We spoke about obedience and that reality of who God is. We were honored to pray for them.
We showed this video, we wanted to share it with you!

God is good